Happy Birthday, Grandma Ruth — Mike Barzacchini

Today, February 16, is my Grandma Ruth’s birthday. Actually, Ruth was my grandmother-in-law, my wife’s maternal grandmother. But she’s as close to a grandparent as I ever had.

My mother’s father, Edward, died when my mom was young, as did my father’s mother, Isola or Hazel. My maternal grandmother, Ora, remarried, and she died before I was born. I think the first time I “met” my step-grandfather, Glen, her second husband, was at his funeral. I was around eight years old. My paternal grandfather, Fred, died when I was two years old.

So it wasn’t until Susan and I married that I fully experienced grandparent love. With our marriage, I inherited a paternal grandfather and grandmother, a paternal step-grandfather, and Ruth, her mom’s mom. On some level, I was able to spend time and get to know each of them. But there’s no doubt that Ruth had the most profound impact on my life.

Ruth knew that I had grown up without grandparents. From the time we met, I was to call her “grandma.” She readily accepted me into her family. It was interesting and fun learning to become a grandson at age 30.

When I think of Ruth, I think of strength, compassion, and kindness. She worked her entire life, mostly alongside her husband Frank, at their small business, a combination toy, hobby, and barbershop in Crystal Lake, Illinois.

When Susan and I first married, I was unemployed and underemployed for a time. Ruth would call our home to speak with Susan. I’d answer and say, “Hello Grandma.” Her response was always straight to the point, “Are you working yet?”

I would joke with Susan about this, but her simple, direct question contained multitudes, including concern and motivation. I can honestly say that from 300 miles away, Ruth helped remind me of my purpose at that time in my life — to find work that would help me secure a future for my family. And it did.

A few years later, we moved near Ruth; We were then more often able to experience one of my favorite things to do with her and I think one of her favorite things to do with us — go out to eat. We’d take Ruth out on special occasions like Easter brunch or Mother’s Day. But often it was a “just because” meal. These always felt like special occasions. I still smile when I remember Ruth and Susan competing to see who had the most olives in their salads during lunch at Olive Garden.

After Ruth died, the family had an oak tree planted at Veteran Acres in Crystal Lake, just outside the third baseline of the ball diamond named for her husband, Frank Repp Field. When the snow finally melts this spring, Susan and I will visit Ruth’s tree. It’s a great place to remember her and to reflect how wonderful it is to experience a grandparent’s love, even if it comes along later in life.