Why I Write #NotLeftUnsaid Letters

Who needs to hear from you today? An old friend or distant family member who’s fallen out of touch? A former teacher, boss, coworker, or mentor who’s had a positive impact on your life?

Don’t underestimate the value of an old-fashioned ink-on-paper letter to make this connection and help you bridge time and distance.

Years ago, I started a practice of writing what I call “not-left-unsaid” letters to family members and friends. I started with my parents. I was born later in their lives. As a child, I was conscious of this. I tried to never miss an opportunity to connect with them.

When I moved away and married, connecting with my parents often took the form of letters, short notes, poems, and sketches. Did I call home, too? Of course, but there was something more personal for me in putting my thoughts and feelings on paper. Toward the end of her life, I learned my mom kept many of the letters I’d written her by an end table near where she sat in the living room. She’d reread them throughout the day.

Over the years, I’ve expanded my practice. I’ve written to friends, former teachers, colleagues, and family members. For every person I write, I think of dozens more I want to reach and I keep an active list of who’s next on my not-left-unsaid letter list.

I won’t kid you. Depending on what’s going on in my life, this practice has sometimes been a challenge. Still, I’ve always found a way to return to write and send the next letter.

People who have received one of my letters often express surprise and appreciation. Sometimes, I don’t hear anything at all. That’s OK. To be honest, the practice of writing and sending these letters is its own reward.

Writing my “not left unsaid” letters helps me slow down, focus, and celebrate. I often include a specific memory, something I experienced with or recall about the person I’m writing. I’ll also express appreciation for their presence and influence in my life. It’s like a form of memoir and gratitude practice, one letter at a time.

This journey may feel long, but it goes by fast. This one remarkable life and the people we meet along the way are all too important to leave anything we value left unsaid.

Photo by Mikaela Wiedenhoff on Unsplash