The Power of Asking Questions

Project off track? Relationship stale? Discussion stalled? Try asking a question.

Not one that will result in a "yes," "no," "maybe," or "fine," response. But something a little more out there.

Something like, "Dad, if you were really a robot, would you tell me?"

There's nothing like the mind of a seven-year-old boy to spark authentic conversation.

In this instance, after I assured our son Jonathan, who was seven at the time, that I wasn't a mechanical creation from the planet Please Eat Your Carrots, we launched into a spirited dialogue about space ships, tree houses, and the odds on Mom being the real robot double agent in our home.

His simple eleven-word query jarred me from my usual post-workday numbness back into the real and now. And it inspires me to ask better questions of my own.

Open-ended questions? Sure. Most of us have been taught that we add to the quality of our conversation and our relationships if we ask, "What can I do to help you?" instead of simply, "Do you need any help?"

So open up the ends of your questions, but also don't be afraid to experiment with the form. Look at Jonathan's question. Closed-ended, but loaded with unexpected thoughts that led to some great parent-child chat.

And how about multiple-choice or true-false? They worked in high school geography class and can also be used to keep your work colleagues, significant other, or kids on their toes.

If you’re a parent, try this example on your child and see what happens: "When you get home from school tonight, I'll expect you to a) do the dishes, b) walk the dog, c) clean your room, d) all of the above?

Asking the right question may help you break that mental logjam that’s holding you back. And should all else fail, ask Jonathan's robot question. But you may want to prepare a follow up in case the answer is, "yes."

Photo by Rock'n Roll Monkey on Unsplash